WHAT A DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok I don't know where to start; (pull up a chair I may well be rambling for a while.

"Lets start at the very beginning!" (Yes I am humming the intro to, the sound of musics, Doh a Deer lol).

So I was up at 6am this morning, with Vicki and we made our way to the hospital, arriving at 7.40 am YUK!!

I was admitted (so far so good, better than last time lol), I then found out that instead of the first on the list that I had been promised for my operation, (due to Anxiety and Diabetes) I was 9th on the list, I was really upset and started to cry as I knew I could no go through with it if I had hours to panic and get more and more anxious, so when the Anesthesiologist came round, I told her I could not do it if it took that long as I was already feeling sick because I had not had breakfast and I was already getting so scared. She said she would get it changed.

5 minutes later my nurse (who was a sweetheart) told me that I was bumped up to 2nd and I would have been first but the first lady had already gone in lol. Ok so I was coping, the doctor came he was really nice and I felt less stressed.

So!!! Then the Anesthesiologist returned and told me they wanted to do a local anesthetic and then a spinal something that I mist (but I was then told and EPIDURAL) GRRRRRR!! I started to panic again so I asked her how much it hurt and she told me it was not at all painful and that I would be fine and they would make me a little high so I could relax.

YEAH RIGHT!!! Relax!! RELAX!! Are they kidding!!! so I was sat on the side of the operating table and they gave me a local an. alas they first 3 Epi. trys were so painful I was screaming (and I have a pretty high pain threshold!) so I had a second an. I think and then 3 more tries. Now I was vomiting and crying like crazy. So in the end they said they would revert back to plan A, the general an. which they then tell me a machine has been playing up so they need time to prepare it and the theatre so they would wheel me back to the ward and leave me there for a while (What the hell is a while!!) I am in total melt down at this point and I had to tell them I could not do it!!! YUP this time I chose not to but I think I was under to much stress. Everyone was supportive of my choice which was a good thing.

Of course now that I am calm and have had a day away from it I feel daft, however hindsight is no use as it just trashes your self esteem and you have to make the choice at the time not afterwards.

I am in loads of pain, my back didn't like the sticky pad they put on either and I have a deep bruise which seems to be spreading and really bloody hurts. GRRRRRRR!!!!

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So next I left and went to Vicki's and she decided we should go to the shops to take my mind off it before we came back to my house. So off we went, I didn't have any money but I remembered my lovely boss at Christmas gave me some gift vouchers and I still had £20 left so I went and spent those, here is what I got:

I also popped into Evans (Thank goodness for store cards lol) and got a top for Debbie's Wedding in March. Here it is:

I love it! and it is Pink, SHOCKER!! lol. I didn't even try it on, which is not like me. I just knew I would love it but I tried it when I got home and it looks fabby. So thats sorted! Yipppeee!! I also bought a new T-shirt, I love Betty Boop so could not resist this:

Next stop Claires Accessories, I always want things in there but I was quite good this time although I do love Vicki's new Sunnies:

and she bought me such a cute photo clip for a picture of Jake and Ben. Thanks babe I love it!

Vicki knew all to well a trip to the shops would be good for me and she was right, I did feel better and it was a great distraction.

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When I got home I was sorting out some bits in a draw and found this:I have now pinned him to my notice board as he is a piece of history and I am glad I have him, I was given him a few years ago when I worked as a Christmas temp at Woolworths, I am still sad they have gone and find myself on a regular basis thinking, must pop in and grab ..... at woolies! Doh!

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Last but Deffo not LEAST.

After a great deal of soul searching I decided Rosie needs a new home. Anyone who knows me and my mum, know that this was an almost impossible choice to make but although she is one of the most gorgeous and affectionate cats I have ever had, she does not like other cats, in fact that is an understatement, she needs her own space and someone who can give her all the love she needs. I was not sure were I was going to start to look for an owner I would be happy with ( I am VERY choosy)..... then my saviour piped up with, I want her! She loves me and I love her.... Vicki is going to take her!! Yipppppeeeee! So not only do I approve of her owner I will see her all the time and I can have her for holidays etc. Brilliant solution. So now I am Auntie Jay and here is Rosie with New mummy Vicki. Awwwwwwwww. Yay!

So although the day started really crappy it was a bad day turned good.

love Jay xx